I Lauphed Because I No Longer Have Any Tears
by potter06
Summary: “Peter? Peter! Where are you, you little rat? I brought food!” I didn’t understand the value that this one sentence held when I apparated into the hiding place of my former friend. The plan was simple. Or so we thought. Holloween Sirius POV. one shot.


_**I laughed because I no longer have any Tears **_

"Peter? Peter! Where are you, you little rat? I brought food!"

I didn't understand the value that this one sentence held when I apparated into the hiding place of my former friend. The plan was simple. Or so we thought.

Several nights ago James and I sat up to the early hours of the morning devising a plan that would give his family the highest protection possible. We knew that Albus wanted it to be himself but James felt that he wanted someone more personal who showed love for his son in every way possible. The Longbottoms would have been perfect; unexpected and already in hiding themselves. Yet they had been tortured into insanity about two weeks ago leaving their son to grow up with his grandmother.

Poor Lily has been crying ever sense.

Originally the secret keeper should have been me the best friend. Yet as the days continued I realized that I was a target just as much as the Potters. I was already a suspect.

Then one night in my sleep I devised what I believed to be the best plan that the marauders would ever devise. I quickly called James on our two way mirrors and together just like the old days we created a fool proof plan.

I didn't believe that Remus was safe. Dumbledore said that there was a traitor among the marauders. James refused to believe him. Yet I didn't let him effect the decision. I would do everything in my power to protect James. The plan suited Peter. The death eaters would never suspect him to be the one who would be given the ultimate secret of the Potters.

My job was simple. Protect Peter. I needed to make sure that there would never be a reason or way for the death eaters to meet my friend. James and I both knew that he would be incapable of dueling with powerful dark wizards.

We did the charm Halloween morning due to the fact Lily read a myth that charms were stronger on hollows eve. We were desperate to protect the baby in the nursery so we jumped at the chance.

As a walked into the small cave that hid my mousy friend I couldn't help but realize that the place looked abandoned. Harry's small face flashed through my mind. I started to yell more frantically.

"Peter? Come on, get out here!"

This is when the puzzle pieces flew into place.

Why would Mooney become a deatheater and betray us after the pain, transformations and lectures that we suffered to make him just slightly more comfortable when he changed into a werewolf. Peter never fit in to the marauders other than as a decoy or a lookout. We made fun of him for years because he was an easy target and wouldn't fight back. He was not handsome, intelligent, powerful or cunning like us others. He somehow found his way into the most intimidating group at Hogwarts and now there was a new more powerful uprising. He was never there for Harry not even on the day of his birth. He was never around. He was a deatheater.

I yelled out a growl of pain and anguish suddenly running out of the cave where I could apparate.

There was no hope in my mind I just needed to save my friend even lay down my life to save his. If we both survived we together with Mooney would kill Peter.

As I appeared in Godricks Hollow I saw the Potter home crumbled and destroyed. My mind was filled with a dark, cold fog.

_Peter _my mind growled. I ran as fast as I could toward the house praying that the fight was still on. The house seemed so far away. I kept running for what felt like hours that would never end. In a way I didn't want it to.

As I reached the black gate I blasted it open with my wand as I approached. Using my hands could abuse sacred time. I was racing the steady clicks of an unknown clock within my mind.

I looked up at what was once a happy home. There was still two stories and furniture but I recognized nothing. I raced to where I knew the staircase should be and the whole world blurred as I saw a pale hand grasping a wand tightly.

I always thought James and I would go together valiantly in a duel against twenty or so deatheaters each. We always said that we would take as many as we could with us.

Yet here lays my best friend, my brother, spewed across the staircase no doubt trying to keep pure evil away from his family.

"James!" I suddenly found myself at his side shaking him violently waiting for Peter to walk out laughing and James eyes to open wide and call me a git for believing what he believed was an obvious prank.

I always believed myself tough but as I looked into the face of my brothers lifeless eyes my resolve broke down. My body was thrown across his as all my life's emotions came out.

"Don't leave me, please mate don't leave me. I can't go on without you. What about Lily and Harry you can't just leave them. _Wake up!" _I yelled with passion and distress between tears that had never fallen.

_Sirius remember your promise. _James voice was suddenly in my mind and a picture of his and Lily's wills suddenly engulfed my eyes. The dark ink naming me godfather shining brightly.

_Flashback_

"_If I die, Sirius, make sure that Lily and Harry are OK. Don't let her fade away. Protect her for me. Please promise me that." _

_Sirius looked into James's hazel eyes and knew this was not a laughing or joking matter. _

"_Til the day I die and on." He replied._

I lay on top of my dead friend and regained my composure. I grabbed his hand and gave it a last and final squeeze.

I then climbed the stairs quickly and my heart started to pound. I had seen many bodies throughout this last year but I had never seen a baby's body. I prayed that I would never have to see my godson's eyes reflect that of his fathers. Cold and lifeless.

I entered the nursery quietly not wanting to disturb the quietness that engulfed the room. I looked at the room taking in the destroyed images of quiddich players flying on the walls. The crib had fallen over upside down leading his eyes to the blue carpeting.

My heart seemed to blast into a million pieces when he saw the body of Lily Marie Evans Potter. Her hair was deep crimson against her pale skin. I now knew there was no hope for the small baby that he had grown to love. I would never see him grow into a successful man with a wife and kids. I would never see him off to Hogwarts.

I cried as I kneeled down and kissed Lily on the forehead.

_Flashback_

"_Sirius, I'm in love." James stated bluntly and dazed. _

"_What?!" Sirius looked at this new boy as if he'd gone mad. _

"_You know that red head. Evans. I'm going to marry her one day." _

_Sirius burst out laughing at this revelation. One: They were only eleven. Two: She seemed to already hate him. Three: James was covered in foul smelling food of which she threw at him with force._

_Sirius smiled as they played a game of chess. This was going to be a strong lasting friendship. He could feel it._

"_Whatever mate"_

I knew I needed closure but yet I no longer contained the power or will to make myself search for the baby. Harry had no parents left to protect him. There was no way he could defend himself against magic as a baby. Voldemort was clearly gone most likely celebrating with the traitor on how he was able to murder a one year old baby.

_Peter_. Suddenly my body was full of rage and hate as I stared at a mother who would never see her baby or husband again. I turned around at full force and raced out of the room. I don't know how I heard it. It was so quiet my mind eyes could only see red with the figure of a rat in the middle.

"Pafoo" a voice so tiny and quiet but yet unmistakable.

I stopped even though my heart was telling me that I was imagining things in my rage. Then I heard it again.

"Pafoo" This time the voice had an edge of hysteria in it.

I found a small ray of light enter in an oblivion of anger.

"Harry?" I yelled into the nursery as I raced back in.

Then the small voice was crying but it sounded like music to me. He was alive. I didn't know how or why. But I knew that cry from anywhere. I barely remember how I yelled for the boy and how he cried back as I ripped apart the room trying to find the boy. Then as I lifted clothes and toys out from under the crib I saw unruly black hair and bright green eyes. I picked the child up and held him tight. Revenge I decided could wait.

I held him for what felt like hours and I cried. The world was collapsing into the apocalypse. My best friend was dead.

I then heard heavy footsteps and my mind called out to James telling him to wait I was coming. I could almost hear his laughter. I raced to the broken closet and told Harry to be quiet as I threw endless amounts of clothing on top of him as he giggled. I then at lightning speed pulled out my wand and pointed it at the intruder coming up the stairs.

The steps were heavy and then a large head emerged over the staircase. I never lowered my wand. Then Rubeus Hagrid was standing in front of me with a towel that was being used as a handkerchief.

"What happened the day you met me and James?" I demanded.

"You accidently set my dresser on fire when J-James talked about L-L-Lily again after you told him you would hex him if he did."

I then lowered my wand. He walked over to the closet and unburied Harry from the clothes. I held Harry tight and sank to the ground and once again was submerged to tears.

Hagrid joined me and consoled me as I showed evident signs of grief. I kept repeating the _words its all my fault_. I couldn't help it. It was my stupid plan.

Then out of the blue Hagrid told me he needed to take Harry to Dumbledore.

"W- What?" I asked flabbergasted.

"Dumbledore has a plan. He told me not to give Harry to you under any circumstances."

I was shocked at first then I realized our plan had half worked. The whole world believed I was the secret keeper. Even Dumbledore.

I then realized the need for revenge was plunging through my vains and red once again filled my eyes. If Hagrid took Harry to safety then I could fulfill my quest. I would go after Peter, make him admit his betrayal and then kill him. I then would come and claim Harry and fulfill my promise.

I quickly gathered Harry's belongings, including a black dog I gave him for his birthday and kissed his forehead. I told Hagrid to take my motorcycle that I no longer had a need for it.

I then noticed a slight scar on Harry's head in the shape of a lightning bolt.

I will avenge James.

XXXXXXXXXXX

I was getting close I could feel his energy. Knowing that Harry was taken care of I knew I would not see him for several years if I was approaching what I hoped I was.

I was going to become a murderer.

I realized that as Hagrid flew away taking Harry to safety the traitor was somewhere here on the streets of Godrics Hollow waiting for me.

And then I saw what I was looking for. A dash of a tail that looked like a worm. I pointed my wand and forced him to transform into a human. He looked into my eyes and smirked before changing his facial features to look grieved and sorrowful. He caused a loud bang to come out of his wand and a bunch of muggles came out from their houses. I looked around at the audience. Then back at the traitor.

I was about to yell and scream and receive the revenge I longed for. But he got there first.

"How could you Sirius? He was our friend and sold him out! Poor Harry was just a baby. YOU KILLED THEM" he yelled at me and I found myself laughing like a madman. I now knew my fate. It would be his fate. I should have known that they expected me to come after him.

He was going to frame me and secure the damage done by only having four people in the world who knew the plan. Me, Lily, James and Peter. And who wouldn't believe poor innocent Peter. We all fell for it.

"I'm going to kill you Sirius." I laughed even harder at these words. He thought he could kill me.

I raised my wand at him. "Not if I kill you first . . . avada . . ."

Midway through my curse a large blast erupted and the world went into chaos. Bodies suddenly fell in the midst of the onlookers. Peter was gone to the naked eye but I saw the rat scurry away. In the place of the man was a bloody finger.

I was then laughing hysterically at my life as my and James colleagues showed up. Aurors apparated from everywhere and my wand was still raised. I no longer had tears left to cry.

I laughed as I realized I was being arrested. I laughed as I realized that innocent Peter just killed loads of people. I laughed that James and I did not see this coming. I laughed that Remus was now alone after years of us telling him we would never leave him. I laughed as I realized that I lied to James because I would not be there to raise his son as he had asked. I laughed as I realized that my fate had been decided from the day I was born. I was a Black, a part of an evil family where every male ended up in Azkaban Prison. I laughed knowing my father would see me carried in to prison ending in the same fate I told him I left him to avoid. I laughed because I now knew I was fated to be a madman. I laughed because I no longer have any tears.

XXXXXXXXXX

Wow that was sad. : ' (

I always wondered why he they said he laughed like a madman when he was arrested so this is my take on what happened that night.

I might write Remus's POV. I don't know. Please give me your opinion it would be greatly appreciated.

_Please Review_

**Diclaimer: I am not JK Rowling you can figure out the rest. Also check out my other story called Moonlit Friendship Midnight Love. It's an L/J falling in love story. I need pointers and inspiration. **

Also does anyone know any good universities that have a good prelaw program. I want to major In law and minor in marine biology but I need to start searching for good schools. I kinda took a major turn from Marine Biologist to Lawyer in the past couple months so all the schools I originally picked out don't emphasize what I want. Yikes. Please help. Preferably California. : ) Just realized that a lot of you aren't even here in the US. Ooops

**SIX DAYS TIL Half Blood Prince**

*Krysta*


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